Atlanta, Friday, September 30, 1955, 11:30 P.M.
Dearest Elvis,
The most terrible thing has happened. By the time you get this letter you will surely know.
About an hour ago I was listening to Daddy-O Radio. A record ended and Penelope didn't come back on. At first there was only silence. Then you could hear her talking, far away but getting closer. She was saying, "Something's gone wrong with our news machine. Can you hear it? 'Ding-ding-ding-ding.' It's driving me crazy. 'Ding-ding-ding-ding.' I got to put a stop to this." She put on Ray Charles' "I Got a Woman," and I went back to studying. A moment later the needle scraped across the record and the music stopped.
Penelope drew in a breath. "Oh, babies," she said softly, "somebody's died. That's what was happening with the teletype. It was letting me know someone important has just died."
You could hear paper rattling, then she began to read. It went pretty much like this: "'Noted Hollywood actor James Dean was killed at approximately 5 P.M., when the sports car he was driving collided head on with another vehicle outside Salinas, California. The 24-year-old Dean, who rocketed to stardom earlier this year as the tortured son in the movie 'East of Eden,' had become a favorite of teenage fans. His second movie, 'Rebel Without a Cause,' is scheduled for release in October, and he recently completed shooting on a third, 'Giant,' starring Elizabeth Taylor. He was on his way to participate in an auto race when the accident occurred. Plans for a memorial service have not yet been announced.'
"I know who he is," Penelope said after a moment's silence. "Got that impish little grin on the covers of all those movie magazines. Looked like he'd be a real cut-up, he did." Her voice went soft and sad. "We got to play a record for him. Let's see, we got to find us a song to play for Mr. James Dean. The late Mr. James Dean, who passed away this evening in a tragic automobile accident. Here's one. I suppose it'll have to do."
She put on the Platters singing "Only You" and let it play through three times without stopping. I don't remember what she played after that. I was crying-crying because someone so young, with so much greatness in him, had to die, and because he won't be around to make any more movies for the rest of us to see. But most of all I was crying for you, because I know you will be sad.
Except in the most general sense of wanting to see you sing or to talk to you, I've never wished I was any place where you were. Not at any particular moment, I mean. But I do tonight. I wish I could be with you when you find out about James Dean, because I know how much he meant to you. I wish it very much.
Sincerely,
Achsa
* * *
Gladewater, Texas, 4:30 A.M. Saturday, October 1, 1955
Dearest Baby Girl,
Something so bad is come to pass I can't hardly see through my tears to write of it. James Dean is gone. The Lord has called him home. I told people here to let me be alone. I'm grieving so bad I can't think of nothing else.
I can't believe he won't be with us anymore, Baby Girl. I depended on him. He was the one going to teach me acting for the movies.
I had it all planned out. I'd see every movie he would ever make. Again and again, like I did East of Eden. Keep going till I figured out exactly how he done it. How he could play-act some person on a movie screen and make that person seem so real just by being his own true self. I figured if I did that, went to school on him that way, then maybe one day I might be as good as he is was is.
Now that's not worth nothing. Cause he's gone.
You know, I used to lie awake nights thinking about him. Thinking how maybe someday him and me would star in a movie together. How I'd get to watch him on the movie set and see just how he done did it. Maybe I'd even get to be his friend. Carry him home to Memphis for a few days and we'd just hang out together. Take him to meet Mr. Phillips, take him down to Beale Street. Now that's not none of it ever going to happen, all what I thought about for so long.
I'm so sad right now I know why people say their hearts are breaking. My heart hurts like a pile of smashed glass in my chest. I'm glad I didn't find out tonight till I was done singing, else there's no way I could have got through it.
I wish you were here with me right now. We could lie down alongside each other, hold each other tight. Except for maybe Satnin, you're the one knows me best of all. It wouldn't bother me none for you to see me cry.
Sometimes when I think about you, it's like you're a warm, comfortable room all lit by candles. A room with a nice big bed that's got a thick, soft feather quilt on top. I wish I could be in that room right now, lying in that bed, your warmth wrapped all around me.
I don't mean nothing bad by that, I swear it. I don't really know what I mean exactly. Only, you give me comfort in my soul, dearest Baby Girl, and I love you. Promise you won't ever go away.
I think maybe I can get some sleep now. I hope you can too.
Yours always,
Elvis
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